nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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