I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
