I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
