a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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