I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
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