Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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