butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
