I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
