Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
