Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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