I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
