I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
