There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
