Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
