do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
the condom got lost in my hair
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
