You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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