Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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