I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
