when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
