she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
