I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
