Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize