How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
