is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
