I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
