Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
