If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
