Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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