i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
