i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
