I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
