I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
