Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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