i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Terrible idea I love it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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