i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
