Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
