But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
