i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
