when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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