xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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