hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
