i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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