i may or may not be watching the land before time
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
