i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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