Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
