he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
