When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
