That's intense
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
