thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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