weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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